


Closer Than You Remember

by kalespia



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Post-Canon, Timeskip, feelings of longing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26126827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalespia/pseuds/kalespia
Summary: Spelling out her emotions is something Riko isn't good at. She feels very heavily and very deeply; but bringing those emotions out in words was never her strong suit.Maybe it's because she's never found a place she can truly call home.All she knows is that she still has Chika, and that's enough for her.
Relationships: Sakurauchi Riko/Takami Chika
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Closer Than You Remember

**Author's Note:**

  * For [giftedsun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/giftedsun/gifts).



> happy birthday em! we've been friends for so long and i'm so happy i've been able to see you grow, whether it's through your writing or your art! you're the biggest chikariko stan I know, so here's a little one-shot for you (ft the song you recommended me) <3
> 
> p.s. everyone go follow her on twitter @chkariko !

_Get ready for sweet sensation  
Got no time for hesitation  
A day of recreation  
And it feels so good, so good  
My sweet sensation_  
— Sweet Sensation; HA:TFELT (Feat. SOLE)

She always struggled with finding a place to call home. The quiet life of Uchiura had suited Riko well. Whenever she was stressed, she could simply step outside and take a long walk on the beach. If she wanted to, she could avoid coming in contact with anyone, as the small town was only populated by so many people. She liked it there (love was too strong of a word for her). It was the first place she truly felt at peace. More importantly, it was the first place she truly made friends.

Throughout high school, she considered Uchiura her home. She had Aqours there; eight other girls who were seemingly destined to be friends for life, no matter where the idol group ended up. She held onto that thought dearly—making friends always seemed like a hardship for her rather than a natural occurrence. So when the nine girls started drifting apart, Riko desperately tried to hold onto the one thing which made Uchiura seem like home. There were a lot of factors, really, that pushed the close-knit group to become a barely-used groupchat and fleeting meetings between a few members here and there. Time had been the main offender. The girls went off to do bigger and better things: Mari traveling the world, Kanan becoming a security advisor, Dia rising up the corporate ladder, You taking over her family sailing business, Yoshiko gaining a following on streaming and video platforms, Hanamaru editing top-selling books, Ruby lending her skills to fashion design. Their deluge of diverse interests simply couldn’t be contained within the moniker of being an idol group so it was more likely destined for them to break apart. It hurt Riko to lose something so profound in her life to the cruel resolve of time.

But at least she had Chika.

During her time with Aqours, Riko never thought she would move back to Tokyo. The lifestyle there was much too fast and much too crowded, and after spending years in a quiet seaside town it was quite the adjustment. But as a pianist and producer, there were far more opportunities for Riko’s career in Tokyo than there was by the seaside. So Riko considered leaving any trace of Uchiura behind her with her move back to the big city. It would be easier that way, she thought, to keep all the good memories but with a painful ending all bottled in one place. But she never considered the reverberating effect it would have on her friends.

And if Chika Takami was anything, she was persistent.

At first Riko laughed at the idea of Chika moving to Tokyo; imagining the energetic orange-haired girl confined in the narrow streets and bustling lines of people seemed comedic. But Chika adapted. Just like Riko did. And so they found a small apartment together (it was all they could afford due to the fickle nature of Riko’s job and Chika’s barely-above-minimum-wage salary at a nearby coffee shop) and braved the change of moving from the seaside to the metropolitan landscape. In hindsight, Riko was glad Chika was so persistent in staying by her side. She felt the overwhelming sense of loneliness—which had been so familiar before joining Aqours—at her first gig. The room was filled with a bunch of people, but they were all impersonal towards Riko, as they only viewed her as a vehicle to make music. Having a little taste of what it felt like to belong in Aqours, only for it to be slowly ripped away from her to be plunged back into isolation might have broken Riko. She was glad she had just a little piece of sunshine with her as her roommate.

And maybe she was just shy or severely emotionally barred-off, but Riko never tried to escalate her relationship with Chika. Maybe she liked the comfort of knowing they would always be there for each other, and didn’t want to ruin their relationship by trying to insert romance into the mix. Maybe she didn’t know how to start a relationship.

Whatever it was, Riko only felt her heart sinking when Chika suggested that Riko go on a date with someone (someone who was not Chika). Riko found it unimaginable to do something intimate with non-Chikas, but the way Chika was poking and prodding for her to do something beyond her work finally bent her will. Riko knew Chika’s intentions were good, but she was too scared to say that she didn’t want to do something romantic with someone who wasn’t her. Nobody would ever be Chika.

But Riko let Chika set up a date for her with one of Chika’s fellow baristas anyways. Riko didn’t even register what their name was; it wouldn’t matter anyway, because once she was done with the date she already knew there wouldn’t be a second one. In some ways, it felt like Aqours were the last people she would ever truly be close with.

It still came as a shock to her, however, when other members of Aqours reached out. They always did whenever they were in Tokyo, but Riko sometimes felt like it was more of a courtesy rather than an invitation.

[you-chan]: Riko! I have a couple of meetings in Tokyo this week, so I was wondering if you wanted to catch up over the weekend?

Riko found herself staring at her phone screen so long that little dots of color started dancing across her vision. She still considered herself friends with Aqours, but time and distance had certainly put a strain on their relationships. It was also baffling to Riko as to why You would reach out to her rather than her childhood friend Chika.

[you-chan]: if you want to, that is :)

You’s follow-up prompted Riko’s hands into a flurry of motion as she typed out a response.

[riko]: I would love to catch up! Saturday morning works for you?

[you-chan]: yup!

* * *

Saturday morning rolled around, and Riko found You sitting at a table outside the cafe she texted her about, happily waving as she saw Riko approaching. You looked the same as ever: colorful hoodie, ripped jeans, hat adorning her company logo. It was refreshing, Riko thought. Some things never change.

“So, Riko-chan, how’s life been treating you?” You said, drawing out her words as she stirred her drink.

Riko shrugged. “It’s alright, I guess. I don’t have as much fun as I used to.”

“That’s adult life for you,” You said, nodding in agreement.

“By the way, why did you contact me instead of Chika?” Riko asked, the question gnawing at her since You’s text. “Not that I don’t like hanging out with you, of course.”

“Oh, Chika already told me that she’s busy this weekend unfortunately. Lots of shifts at the coffee shop,” You said.

That wasn’t surprising to Riko in the slightest. Chika was always keeping tabs on the other members, and stayed in contact the best with all of them (and perhaps was the only one to do so). Riko had often found Chika asleep on their ratty couch with her phone buzzing a mile-per-minute in her hand.

“Ah…”

“Anyways, do you keep busy outside of work?” You asked, changing the subject. “I feel like we always talk about work when we meet, and I’ve had enough of that this week to last me a lifetime.”

“Right,” Riko said, pondering over her answer.

She really had nothing going on except… 

“I guess I have a date tonight.”

You’s head jerked up, sending her gray hair blowing in her face by the motion.

“With Chika?” You asked.

“No,” Riko shook her head. She wished it was.

“Ah, I thought you two finally made it official,” You said, frowning slightly.

“Huh?”

“It was so obvious the two of you liked each other. I mean, Chika uprooted her whole life in Uchiura to follow you to Tokyo. I definitely thought you would be dating by now,” You said matter-of-factly.

Sure, Riko and Chika spent an awful amount of time together during their tenure in Aqours, but Riko never considered how the other girls viewed it. They never dated; it only ever went as far as sunset walks on the beach and the one time, after their last live, where their emotions piled up so much that they managed to do a faint ghosting of their lips. But that was it.

“It’s… complicated,” was all Riko managed to respond with.

“Mmm-hmm.”

But it _was_ complicated. Even if it sounded like a cliche excuse.

“Anyways, about your date tonight!” You clapped her hands together, dissipating the silence that had fallen over them. “What are you doing? Who’s it with?”

“Ah right,” Riko cleared her throat. “Nothing fancy. Just going to a semi-nice restaurant downtown. It’s one of Chika’s co-workers, but I’ve never met them before. Chika says they’re nice, though, so I’ll have to trust her.”

“Well good luck! I’m happy for you Riko, it’s good to get out and make more relationships with people!” You smiled.

* * *

The glass was cool and unbending—a stark contrast to what Riko was feeling inside. The person in the mirror didn’t feel like her. The pale pink dress wrapped around her torso prettily, then hung loosely around her hips. It was a pretty dress—Riko had worn it to plenty of her performances before—but it felt foreign to her in this new situation.

She half-wished Chika was home to give her words of encouragement, but she knew she picked up a double shift that day to help pay rent. She would have to brave this herself.

The restaurant was a fairly new place, having gained quite the buzz on social media prior to its opening. The mood lighting cast long shadows on the walls, causing Riko to have to squint to see the menu. Her date hadn’t arrived yet, but Riko would give them the benefit of the doubt for now. She had arrived fifteen minutes early out of anxiety.

Soft jazz music played inside, and the waiter took Riko’s order for a drink. She should’ve felt at ease in the calm environment the restaurant had set up for its customers, but the knot in her stomach made her feel otherwise. As minutes ticked by, Riko felt her leg begin to bounce involuntarily. Her drink was refilled again.

She looked at her watch. Five minutes past their meeting time.

Her drink refilled again.

Ten minutes.

The waiter gave her a quiet look of pity. Riko hated it.

Fifteen minutes.

One more cup of tea wouldn’t hurt, right?

Twenty.

The empty chair across from her looked at her menacingly. Riko could almost laugh. It felt like the worst thoughts in her head had come to life. Loneliness in the form of being _stood up_ , of all things, was coming to mock her.

She called Tokyo her home now, but it certainly didn’t feel like it.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re not going to order I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the waiter said politely.

“I understand,” Riko said, bowing her head apologetically.

She grabbed her clutch she brought with her and stood up. She felt the eyes of the other customers look at her with pity; there was nothing she could do now but leave with her head held high. This wouldn’t break her. It wouldn’t.

“Wait!”

Riko’s heart felt like it stopped and accelerated at the same time.

Barging her way through the tables was Riko’s little piece of sunshine.

“I’m here! Sorry I’m late, Riko-chan!” Chika said, panting as she stopped in front of her.

“Oh, would you like to take a look at the menu then?” the waiter said, eyes wide with surprise at Chika’s sudden arrival.

“No, that’s okay! I’ve made Riko wait here too long so we’ll go somewhere else. Thank you!” Chika smiled.

She then grabbed Riko’s hand, and all the coldness she had felt seeping into her from sitting alone was dissolved instantly. Her mouth remained slack-jawed as Chika dragged her out from the restaurant and towards a small park nearby.

“I’m so sorry, Riko,” Chika said as they slowed down their pace. They were still holding hands, and neither of them seemed inclined to let go.

“It’s not your fault they didn’t show up,” Riko said, finally gaining control of her tongue again.

“But I pushed you to go on the date. I even set it up! I’ll be sure to give them a piece of my mind if I see them at work,” Chika hissed.

Riko found herself smiling at that. She would love to see Chika be genuinely upset with someone and act upon it.

“Thank you for coming,” Riko said finally, shuffling closer to Chika as the night air nipped at her bare arms.

“No problem! I thought I should check on how it was going after my shift ended, and I’m lucky I did!”

A silence fell over them as they continued walking. It wasn’t uncomfortable; the silence they encountered never was. Maybe it was the moonlight or the faint twinkling of the stars, or maybe it was the lights from nearby buildings, but Riko could’ve sworn Chika was glowing. The dark grasp of loneliness had nothing on her shine.

“Have you ever thought of what we could’ve been?” Riko asked quietly.

Chika stopped walking abruptly, and Riko nearly pulled her arm out as she had kept going.

“You think about it, too?” Chika asked.

“I guess I do sometimes. But I met You earlier today, and she said that all the other girls saw it. What we had between us, I mean,” Riko responded, turning to face Chika. She couldn’t read the look on her face.

“We could still have it, you know,” Chika said, voice barely above a whisper. She looked Riko in the eyes. Her eyes looked like two suns.

“It won’t mess up anything we have now…?”

“If it does we can work through it. We’ve done it before.”

Riko was never good at explaining her emotions. Sometimes they crashed in waves; intense piles of sadness and loneliness, followed by the warm feelings of happiness and joy. Other times they were almost impossible to pinpoint; a mysterious gray cloud of regret and longing constricting her chest. But when their lips connected, Riko felt like she could pour out hundreds of words to describe how she felt.

Riko called Uchiura her home because she found Aqours there. She called Tokyo her home because that’s where she lived and worked. She felt silly that she finally realized why the word home never fit those places right—Chika had been her home all along.

The kiss wasn’t perfect. It was a sloppy gesture, and their foreheads and noses bumped into each other clumsily. They were still holding hands. But it felt right. It felt warm.

It felt like home.

“I love you,” Riko whispered, resting her forehead on Chika’s.

“I love you, too, silly,” Chika responded.

If Chika was the sun, Riko was the planet that revolved around her.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> I post occasional writing updates on my twitter @kalespia if you want to give me a follow :)


End file.
